Have you ever pushed your inner voice, your inner wisdom aside for the benefit of others? Undoubtedly there have been times in your life when you felt you needed to fit in - perhaps even out of sheer necessity to survive. The times where you entered a playground, a board room, a zoom call, a party, and as you looked around and assessed the situation and surroundings you realized it safest to acclimate to your surroundings so as not to overly stand out or rock the boat. If you’ve ever had to be anything other than who you are for the benefit of others, read on!
Belonging
Belonging is not belonging to a group or fitting in. In fact, belonging is the opposite of fitting in. Belonging is: “...belonging to yourself first. Speaking your truth, telling your story, and never betraying yourself for other people" (Brown, 2019). There is personal power in this. Who you most need to belong to out of anyone or anything in this world and universe, is yourself.
If you’re at a spot in life where you’re seeking to find yourself and not sure how to belong to yourself because you and yourself are at a disconnect, that’s ok. Know that you already are yourself when seeking to find yourself! Now it’s a matter of belonging to yourself.
Belonging to oneself is hard and scary but as Cass Elliot (1969) said: “...It may be rough going just to do your thing, the hardest thing to do…but you’ve gotta make your own kind of music, sing your own special song. Make your own kind of music even if nobody else sings along.”
The Keyholder of Validation is…YOU
We as individuals and as collectives move quickly and often under pressure, however, it is more challenging to hear and be present with our inner wisdom and inner voice when operating at lightning speed. To get in touch with what is real we’ve got to slow down. Stop, breathe, check in with yourself and be present with the present moment to hear your inner wisdom.
Without pausing to slow down and hear your inner wisdom, the under pressure and quick movements, responses, and actions are unlikely to come from inner wisdom. They’re more likely to be conditioned movements, responses, and actions.
With your movements, responses, and actions moreso coming from inner wisdom, there is greater validation…from yourself. Taylor and Zipursky (2023) share there’s no control over how others will receive your wisdom. Only you hold the keys to your own validation.
You are in Charge
If you’re receiving the message from society, culture, or another individual that you need to acquiesce, Taylor (2023) says to ask yourself some critical questions about the world we live in and what another’s motivations may be for denying your wisdom and expertise. Know it is not about you.
“What if we discover one day that we were always the ones in charge? Just, no one told us.” - Mrs. Maisel in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (2022)
Whether someone told you or not, you are in charge: You have seniority over yourself. You are in charge of you.
If you’re reading this and thinking about the times you put fitting in above self-belonging, sought validation from anyone other than yourself, or allowed another power over you - more power than you may have given yourself, remember, there are no failures. There are only lessons and you don’t really gain wisdom without some lessons along the way. Your wisdom (along with your self-belonging, being the keyholder of your own validation, and recognizing you are in charge of you) helps you to reclaim your personal power.
Ready to further uncover and reveal yourself and your personal power welcoming a positive ripple effect and clarity across your life and being? Harmoniously Herself™ transformational coaching is here for you! 💗
References
Elliot, C. (1969). Make Your Own Kind of Music [Song]. On Bubblegum, Lemonade and…Something for
Mama. Dunhill Records.
Brown, B (Writer). Restrepo, S. (Director). (2019). Brene Brown: The Call to Courage. Netflix.
www.netflix.com
Sherman-Palladino, A. (Director). (2022). How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall? (Season 4, Episode 8)
[TV series episode]. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Amazon Prime Video. www.amazon.com
Taylor, S.R. and Zipursky, A. (2023). Reconnect with Your Inner Wisdom [Webinar]. Berrett Koehler
Publishers.
About
Step into your personal power, hear your inner wisdom, discover clarity, and live life true to YOU 💖
Harmoniously Herself™ Transformational Coaching by Amy M. Toney International is here to support conscious clarity for women empowering compassion, love, clarity, self-belonging, self-discovery, self-confidence, self-worth, and self-illumination 💖
Caring deeply about supporting YOU in finding clarity, living life true to YOU, shining YOUR one-of-a-kind light, and welcoming positive ripple effects across YOUR life and being, Amy's unique and transformational approach bridges practical life coaching with higher consciousness coaching...
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